What to do next

About a month ago, my partner and I were to start a new career together as Publicans, but while at training we had a really serious argument and I left. I did not see or speak to him for a month, and although I was sad I was beginning to make some sense of it all and get on with my life. About a week ago he rang me in tears and begged me to go back saying that the company would allow me to continue with my training, so I gave it a chance and went back.I am the one with the qualifications and have worked for other companies and could go straight in and do the job, it is my partner who needs the training,but it is me who is paying the price as I am the one not getting paid and working for nothing.I feel very down at the moment and used and really dont know what to do about things I wish I had had the strength to move on while I had the opportunity. What do you think I should do this feeling of utter lifelessness is making me so ill.