This pain will be the end of me

by xo

Mom don't leave, I need you here with me…
I'll never leave sweety, I promise i'll always be with you.

My mom was the last thing I had left, but now she's gone. Resting in heaven now… far from being with me like she promised. Cancer took over her, made her promises like dust. They didn't matter anymore not like she could remember. I was only 15 when I lost her, and she'll never come back now. It's almost been a year that she died and ever since that day I feel like its my fault she's gone, I feel like no one wants me here anymore, my dad doesn't care… i'll get over it he says.

I've never really had a good childhood. I was never happy then either. Bullied, parents divorced, changed schools every year, moved from house to house. I always felt like I was just in the way, a hassle to have around, like no one care for me or loved me. Even now, it's like i'm invisible. Dealing with this is a daily routine, sometimes I feel like this pain will be the end of me.

I can't remember the last day I haven't cried. I've always been told happiness isn't something your gonna find, so stop searching because it'll come to you. Sometimes you just have to live pass the hard things that happen in your life, and at this moment I don't think i'm ready its too soon. But when I am ready i'll take that advice and use it.

xo.
A girl who's never really had a chance.