The walk

by Simon G
(Cambridge, UK)

Hello, I'm Simon and I have been free of depression for the last couple of years. However, this year money and work worries have pushed me back down that path. Having been depressed on and off (more on than off) for the last 10 years I empathise and sympathise with the stories shared. I know that depression can be a terrible thing and an overwhelming place to be at.

However, I don't think it's always all bad. It teaches you important and amazing lessons about yourself that others just won't get to learn. If you suffer and find yourself having a 'lucid' moment (where the despair isn't crippling) you may - like me - realise that you have greater and deeper insight into your mind and the way you think, feel and are. This is something to be proud of, if you can let yourself.

I know that the way I deal with depression now, compared to seven or eight years ago, is far more effective and intelligent than before. I sometimes write poems, which I find is a good way to vent frustration / exasperation and express myself. The poem below is called 'The Walk' and is intended to remind me that there will be a brighter day (as I've got through worse before) - and to keep this in my mind to pull me through the toughest days:

...Ahem...

Im walking and on my shoulder,
I notice a spiders web,
And it's funny how; suddenly now,
My energy's begun to ebb.

And as I go to brush it off,
It sticks firmly to my hand,
And it seems to be - it's all over me,
But now I'm trudging through quick sand...

And further ahead, I see a shape,
A silluotte that's still and dark.
A big black dog silently staring at me;
It doesn't growl or bark.

But on I plod, and far in the distance I see,
A faintly shining light,
And intrigued I continue, slowly on,
Although it's now a fight

On walking some more, I hear a voice,
Saying faintly "You'll be be fine"...
And I realise the voice is from the future;
That the voice is - infact - mine.

PS - thanks for the site - it's a brilliant resource :-)

Si