Teenager Depression: I'm a cutter

by Anonymous

I'm a cutter

I'm a cutter

I always act really hyper in school. It feels like if I do, I'll forget how upset I am but it only works for a little bit. My best friend wants me to tell my mom: I'm a cutter. I just can't do that to her. My best friend keeps telling me that she'll be fine and it i'll feel better. But my mom is already having a hard time because of my brother and her divorce, and always being in court with my dad. I also don't wanna hurt my dad and stepmom. 
I don't know if its real depression or something that ill get over. I don't know how to tell. All the little emo comments really bug me, and I can always relate little things to cutting at school, but I usually try to push them outta my mind. 
Some of my friends know and I wish that I could take back telling them because some of them have cut because they know I do, and they think because I do it makes me feel better and they think that it will make them feel better too. 
It only makes me feel worse knowing that I'm the reason they thought to cut. The only thing keeping me here, is not wanting to hurt my family and best friend...she cuts too.

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Teenager Depression: I'm a cutter

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Dec 17, 2011
 I used to be like that
by: Anonymous

well im a cutter, i've cut myself since i was 10 and im 15 and i cut because my life has been hell ever since i was born...my mom abused me when i was little, and she always told me that i was supposed to be aborted and i was never any good enough to live...and the most horrible thing she did to me was make her own little baby prostitute and make her get drugs with the money i got....and even after i got out of my moms hell hole, my dad suffers from depression so i cant tell him anything and he always over reacts about every little detail..so this year i started high school and it sucks...i fail almost every class, and i met new people who understand me and we party and drink...and i have been drinking and smoking since i was 10 so im used to it. But secretly I hate every thing that I have become and I hate how I sneak around...this is why I cut, and I wish that someone will come and save me from this awful life...and this year I have found out that im bipolar so I have to take pills and my friends keep asking me to hook them up...but I cant! I just want help because my cutting scars have taken up my whole left arm and my upper thighs..everyone knows that I cut and I dress like an emo..but I hate this life and I wish someone will save!
Nov 14, 2011
 Depressed
by: Anonymous

I am 16 year old teenager, I need help, I need someone to talk to. I feel alone nobody cares about me but my sister...I don't have no dad and my mother just don't care. I cut myself when i'm depressed and I burn myself..i wasn't taught how everybody else was taught. I don't know the difference between right and wrong. I do not respect my self, sexually,physically, emotionally. I smoke too ease the pain and i am so insecure, i do not think i'm that beautiful..and i think i will never be sh*t.I have suicidal thoughts sometimes,I just want to know whats wrong with me. (please comment)
Oct 13, 2011
 I used to cut
by: Anonymous

I am the same way, very energetic in school, always have a smile of my face. My parents are together, but sometimes i question life, which led me to cutting. The pain felt better then the pain and confusion i felt, but i couldnt tell anyone. I told my bestfriend and she just told me to stop, like you cant just tell someone to stop. The emo comments bug me when people automatically assume a cutter has to be emo.I had seen therapists for other reasons, a year went by and they still didnt know i was a cutter. Finally i told them. One day I cut so deep, and i was home alone. Honestly, the feeling scared me, i wasnt ready to die. My mom found out, she always had a feeling but didnt know it was this bad. I couldnt be left home alone, I have scars that will never go away, and I still think about cutting sometimes. Dont let the nasty comments offend you, tell your parents, get help because it was the best decision of my life to be open with my parents, theres other ways to handle depression
Oct 06, 2011
 Tell Her
by: Anonymous

Believe it or not, your mom can handle it. She may be going through a lot, but she will always be there for you. I'm sure she would want you to be able to come to her. Adults are strong, and they're supposed to be there to help and guide you. I know it's scary trying to tell someone that you cut. I've been there. But it won't just "go away". You're not going to just "forget about it". Your best friend isn't enough to get you through this. Please (all of you reading this right now) go talk to someone. Some adult. An aunt, cousin, teacher. Someone that you trust. Please go talk to them. It's ok to ask for their help and support. You deserve better. You deserve a happier life. The sooner you take care of this problem (no matter how big or small it may seem), the better things will be for you. You can get through this! And I sincerely hope that you all do <3
Sep 26, 2011
 I also cut
by: Anonymous

I have also been cutting myself. because of my parents and there divorce and my mom had been cheating on him for a long time.My little sister and brother no nothing about the divorce and it hurts that I cant tell them. I'm only 13.My two best friends are the only ones that know what I have been doing. and they just told me to stop. They haven't been trying to talk to me or help me. I'm to afraid to tell my parents because I believe they will think its there fault. Its only little cuts but I still try to hide them by always wearing a jacket and a lot of bracelets.
Aug 26, 2011
 IT WILL GET BETTER BELIEVE ME
by: Arriebelle

I know what you are going throught believe me my family fights everyday sometimes i dont even talk to them i cutt my wrists as well my found out and we talk alot i have a disability so i got made fun all of the time i am in highschool now a jr i am 17 trunig 18 in jan 4 i get call stupid girl me and my mom fight 2 but it will get better you be the better person then your mom if you have a dream go fot it i cutt my wrists so little i overdose i pray to god that it will stop and it did school is going great i hope to be a singer/actress just tell her and i will pray for you :)
Aug 05, 2011
 I'm so sorry
by: Anonymous

I've written on here before. And I see so many of us asking for advice. It hurts to see so many people hurting... We don't have to go through this... The advice and strength is within YOURSELF. You just have to figure it out and find it deep down somewhere. Don't be afraid to ask for help. There are plenty of lending hands around you! It will be ok if you let it <3 I hope that we all can figure these things out soon! Take a deep breath and tell yourself that it's going to be ok! It might not look like it right now, but one day it will <3
Aug 02, 2011
 please im just looking for advice
by: Anonymous

i don't know what to do i have stopped cutting myself, I'm always depressed and i hurt my self and the people around me.. I'm only 13 years old and I'm just looking for anyone to give me advice ): please help me.
Jun 23, 2011
 My story
by: Anonymous

In January 2009, I picked up scissors and slashed my left arm twice. They were deep and I should have gone to the hospital for stitches. The deep slashes were a reaction to the fact that I was to weak to cut myself. There are scars from trying to cut my arm vertically almost scratches. And because I was to weak to actually do what I deserved, out of anger I just slash my arm. And it felt good. I remember looking at the deep cut not yet bleeding and smiling. It felt good mentally. It's like it released a trapped feeling. I wanted to do it again. I needed to do it again. And so I did. I had two deep gashes side by side on my left arm. I grabbed a towel to wrap around my arm and went to bed.
This was after I was fooling around with this boy and it got out of hand. I was drunk. My good friend was dating this boy. When he finally let me go I went up to my room to cry. Word already gotten around somehow but they didn't know what really happened. They all thought it was me, my choice I'm the slut. my best friend came in my room and told me I was pathetic and walked out. So I went for the scissors. My family knows. We all blame it on the alcohol I wasn't in my right mind when I cut my arm. They may be right. But they don't know that ive cut myself sober as well.
May 27, 2011
 .... pain
by: Anonymous

when my mom found out that i cut it we had already been in a huge fight for the last 3 weeks then i tried to go and talk to her about our fight but i forgot to put all my bracelets back on (i use them to cover up) and before i could even say a word she saw and flipped... things havent been the same since that. my mom is legally depressed and stopped taking her pills and my therapist is a freak. i feel insane i take erase the past..i cry myself to sleep almost every night wishing i was happy like everyone else. the only other people who know are my best friend( who is always there for me ) and people i thought would respect it but didnt and i wish i never told them because the dont understand..they think i am a crazy person. i also always have to wear a jacket because the cuts scarred and they are up to my elbow and the are words not just random lines
May 05, 2011
 your never alone
by: Awakened

I know the feeling of you friends not their to help you. about 8 months ago I told all my friends that I cut hoping they would help me, but instead they ignored it. Now I'm afraid to tell my parents because I don't want the heartbreak of being unloved. But still tell someone, I spent forever trying to find someone who would listen, and I found it in my track choach. thanks to him I feel stronger and even when I slip up, he's not made at me, he feels sorry and lifts me up. Even in a field of weeds, a flower can be found.
Apr 23, 2011
 ik what you feel
by: emma

i have been cutting for about a year im 13 and rly need someone to talk to my best friend turned her back on me and i hate talking to adults i cant tell my mom it would kill her. her sister killed herself and if i told her i was going down the same path i would be dead by her before i could my self, im not sicidal just rly rly upset that i help my best friend ( she cuts to) and as soon as i do she flips and leaves me in my time of need! i help her and she turns her back to me. my best guy friends justin has been very helpfull. if you CANT talk to an adult talk to someone you trust who u know has been though this and wont be afriad to help you. i was afraid to tell anyone cause i didnt want to get told on and be sent to an adult. just know someone out there truely loves you , if you dont belive it then ask anyone of your good friends and i bet they will say yes. they may lecuture you and call you stupid if they do they just dont understand and go get help from someone else you trust. i am pretty good at helping ppl and i want to be a councilar but i would be nicer and different then the others i wont make ppl cry and get mad at others. this how i help my best friend all the time untill she left me....
best of luck and with lots of love emma xoxoxooxoxoxoxo
Apr 19, 2011
 Hope life gets happier
by: Anonymous

I am the 3rd oldest child out of 8 kids in my family. I am 14 years old. I have been cutting for six months now. At school I am always happy an no one at school has ever seen me mad or sad. I wont to tell some of my good friends at school that i cut, but I can't because I am afraid that they will judge me an say that my life is not that bad, but that is... I guess... one of the reasons why I cut is because I people tell me that my life could be worse so I feel bad that I can't handle a normal life( sorta normal) and I cut to punish myself for being so weak. I can't tell my parents because... well because of several reasons but the mane reason is... my parents would look at me as some sinful emo kid(I don't think there is anything wrong with being emo that's just my parents) an I would be a failure in there eyes. I have only told one friend that I really trust but I only get to see her like once every six months :( I don't no what to do? And right now and I feel vary alone :(
Apr 05, 2011
 I'm so sorry
by: Anonymous

I've read a few of the comments on here, and I'm soooo sorry that you all have to go through this pain!! Especially some of the younger ones on here... I do have to admit, I've been cutting for the past 5 years. I finally think that I may possibly try to get help. I'm in college now, and there are free counselors here for us to go to. I would feel guilty and embarrassed going to them. But if I really want to stop, this is the only way that it will. Otherwise it WILL and always has just kept returning. I know that it's hard to turn to parents. Parents are the only adults that show us everything that they're frustrated with and struggling through. And best friends aren't really much of a help either. The best they can do is to tell us to tell our parents. So what I suggest is to go to a counselor at school. They get paid to listen to you and help you, so there's no need for guilt there. What might help even more is to go to a different trusted adult. For me, my teachers have always been a big influence on my life, and care a lot about me. There are a few that I know that I could trust to tell them and to talk to. Maybe even write a letter to them if you can't say it.
Tell them that you just need to tell SOMEONE and that you're slowly trying to get help. Tell them that telling your parents would put more stress on the situation. Ask them to just listen to you. It really does help to be able to let a little weight off of your shoulders until you can be strong again! I'm sure that they would be more than willing to be that shoulder to lean on for you! Maybe an aunt or uncle? Neighbor? Friend of the family? Older sibling would work too. You KNOW that you shouldn't cut. We still WANT to... but we also want to stop. Once you stop, you can forget about it. Wouldn't that be nice? Well if you want to stop, you need to have someone guide you. Self-harm DOES mean that there is something wrong. And whatever that something is, you don't deserve to have to handle it on your own... No one does <3
Good luck to you and I hope that if you all don't take my advice, that you at least end up taking someone's somewhere along the road. There is a better life to be lived. The longer you wait, the more chances of happiness you're missing in your life today!! <3 Much love XoxoX
Mar 29, 2011
 i know how you feel
by: Destiny

im depressed because of my dad and all the things he did in the past and stuff and im scraed to tell my mom cause they still together and he told me "if me and your mom ever get divorced its all your fault" and i went to bed crying cause he was sayin that they were thinkin bout it 3 times cause of me and stuff): the only reason why i cut myself is because of him and im scared if i tell my mom that my parents will get divorced and it will be my fault and my brothers will bully me more): ive thought of suicide alot and i got alot of "emo" friends but they dont have the same pain as me): and i feel like im the only one and idk how to tell my mom and like i said im cared to): i guess ima have to or one day ima kill myself cause i sleep alot, think of suicide alot, and cut myself, and more stuff like that and i was readin on the internet it can get worse if it dont get fixed but i wish someone would pay enough attention to me to notice and i guess thats what ive been waitin for=/ but since noones gonna notice ima try and tell my mom when she goes out today..its gonna be really hard!!
Mar 25, 2011
 JUST LISTEN
by: Anonymous

I began cutting about year ago and now am about to turn 14. No one really suspects because know one really cares. I cut when I don't want to cry when I don't want to feel emotional pain and I would rather feel physical to block out the mental. Ever since I have been cutting no one notices even though I don't cover them up. I'm invisible to everyone which makes me want to do more and deeper to make my loneliness go away. I know this won't help, but it makes me feel so much better. My mom seems to badger and complain and I know it's not her fault she stressed, but she doesn't know I get stressed and tired and what I'm really hiding from her.
Today I had a though of running. Just going to some train tracks and walking forever. Where would I be. I mean I don't cut because I'm suicidal, but because I am see through. I have good friends but they don't know what I hold inside because I don't want them to be bothered by me. I feel better telling this to everyone here and I wish I could tell someone I really know.
Mar 11, 2011
 i am a cutter
by: shemika

well i cant give any advice because im a cutter to and im suffering from depression and the only thing keeping me alive is my kids i love them very much and i know if i dont stop soon im going to end up loosing my life and dat would be hurtful to the ones i love i hate my life i cant even go out because of how i feel people would look at me it hurts so badly knowing that im doing this to myself and its so hard to stop but i can really say i need help and i want it i have been doing it for 3 years
Mar 09, 2011
 Forget it,just know you're not alone
by: Anonymous

You're not alone.Because I used to cut myself too and I understand it.When my parents have known about it,they got sad at the first time,but they doubt abot me and they make fun of me.My mum thinks that it's a failed suicide attempt and from their divorcement.And my father asks me if I have cuts on the other parts of my body except for my arms.And I know you don't want to tell your mom,well forget telling your mom.I think that you should go to a psychiatrist.Cause that's the best way.And try to stop your best friend and yourself from cutting.We both know that it will never solve anything.But remember,when they make fun of your cutting,ou shouldn't care about them.
Mar 04, 2011
 i need help
by: RunAway Ree

Currently, I am a cutter. I have 5 vertical cuts on my left arm. Why? Because I decided to cut myself for the most stupidest reason ever. I have problems at home, guy troubles, I'm VERY emotional and sensitive, and so I cut. I regret it. So much. I also hate the stupid 'emo' comments. Those made me feel worse, so I cut more. Friends see, they make an effort to help... Not helpful... My mom saw... She only got after me and yelled. Made me angry and so I cut. Now I can't stop crying.. I feel horrible yet I hide it with the fake smile we girls are great at putting on our faces... I HAVE thought about suicide. Makes me feel bad, worthless.
For all people cutting or going through depression, I advice you to tell someone before you get out of control. Tell a counselor tell an aunt. LET THEM KNOWM
Feb 19, 2011
 tell your mom
by: Kaitlin B

I used to be a cutter and I only stopped because everytime I cut my boyfriend would too and I hated seeing the cuts on his arms and thinking,"I made him do that..." I told my mom a year ago and she cried and held me as I did so too. I stopped after that. but then one night I couldn't take all the fighting in the house so I cut. my mom walked into the bathroom and saw my bloody arm. as she cried on the phone to her friend, er friend told her to take me to the hospital and so she did. the doctors their then sent me to a treatment center. I stayed there for a week and the went home. after being home for almost two weeks, I scratched myself till I bleed at school. so my mom took my back and they put me in long term at the treatment center. I was only home a week that time before I overdosed on the mess I was given. 3689 mg of seriquil and about 2000 mg of lexipro. I went back to the treatment center for a week and only got out cuz my insurence failed. that was on January 3, 2011. now my mom is threatening her life and I'm afraid that I'm going to start cutting again. everything is blamed on me in my house. no one would understand the real reason I started cutting. my mom says it's beause of my parents divorce but it's not. and she tells her friends I tried to commit suicide. I didn't. ever. I just wanted to get away from myself for at least a few hours. tell your mom. telling my mom was the best thing I ever did. because after seeing her cryng the first time i told her...I stopped cutting. it was the best feeling and now I know I'm truly done with it and I feel better. I'm having all the teenage expiriences and no having to worry about covering up my scars. but if I could change something about my life, it would never be that I cut. I feel it has made me stronger then I was before I cut. tell your mom, and not just some adult. tell your mom. she won't make it into such a big deal if you just tell her. telling someone like your councler WILL get you into a treatment center. your mom will forgive you. I promise.
Feb 13, 2011
 Same kinda.
by: Anonymous

I was the same way...my boyfriend is the only one that knew though he's told me that im just going through a faze and everything will get better, but nothing ever does. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that he atleast is the one person in the world i wouldnt ever wish being dead like if he killed himself god i dont think i could make it and he says the same about me. im extremely hyper at school its the only place i can breathe for just a second everything felt okay. the only reason i quit cutting is because of him. the way i was able to was by getting aton of exercise i know that sounds horrible i thought so to but you get an adrinaline rush from the cutting and the same kind of thing comes from exercise..it also helped with my weight problem because im an emotional eater and have gained 20 pounds in 3 months...so not healthy. It will be very akward and stressful telling your mom. dont think of this as a disease that needs to get better its not at all. my scars are my battle scars dont be afraid to do anything but die. be afriad of that but if your not suicidel and just trying to get rid of some stress tell your mom that. and know one thing. Others are going through the same thing your not alone and even though it totally doesn't seem like it someone does love you. sounds like you know your friend does treasure that relationship and keep it close. this is not something anyone should be punished for.
Jan 22, 2011
 somebody help
by: Anonymous

i understand that my friend is a cutter to and so am i i have thought about suicide alot mostly every day i think will this be the day i finally do it? i cant tell anyone besides my friend and she has changed alot lately i dont know what to do its so cofusing my mom and dad got a divorce when i was 9 and i live with my grandma brother and sister they dont understand
Oct 24, 2010
 Get Help
by: Anonymous

I also know exactly what your going through. Trsut me cutting is not the answer even though im a cutter too and have been for 3 years! You lose friends and you begin to search for cuts on everyones arm too, just hoping someone will understand. Trust me, tell someone. Get help! I did and i was sent to the hospital where they put me on meds and i got a lot of help. Although im still cutting its better having people to back you up.
Oct 18, 2010
 I know
by: Mdh

I definately understand how you feel about not telling your mom and how it bugs you when people make emo comments. I to am a cutter and it was very hard for me to tell my mom i wad scared to tell her but i thought if i didnt tell her it would make it worse for the both of us. So i encourage you to tell her or some adult.
Jul 27, 2010
 I understand
by: Anonymous

Ok, I don't know what to say, but here goes.
I also cut. And I'm shocked by how much harm you can do to yourself. It's easy to be told to tell someone, but another to act upon it. You need to, though, someone, somehow.
Jul 17, 2010
 I'm a cutter and I have the same problem
by: Anonymous

I still cut and it's been about one year. It all started when my friend...my BEST friend who I told everything and trusted everything with ditched me for a more popular girl. We all started hanging out and she was SO mean to me an my parents are so harsh and I don't trust them so all my anger just kept building until I snapped...then I started cutting...and now I'm addicted practicly...some other girls on my hockey team saw my cuts and started cutting themselves and they have no reason to!): I feel like I'm the blame for everything now! And my mom and dad both found out I cut an made me swear to stop and they've now forgot about it completly and I'm very good at hiding them now...I know I need help but I don't know who to turn to. It's summer and I don't trust my parents an have like 5 ok friends, I don't trust them yet and I don't know what to do): could someone help me?):
May 14, 2010
 I know what you are going through
by: Becca

I had the exact same problem. I had a really bad cutting problem when I was younger and thankfuly i stopped 3 years ago. I havent cut myself since. What helped me was figuring out why I was cutting myself. I didnt like myself image, but I talked to someone who made me feel better. He saved my life and became a life long friend. Find someone that will give you tough love. I told my mom last year and honestly I wish I hadnt. It only caused her more pain and she wasnt even going throught the same things your mom is going through. Find someone who you can talk to who wont get hurt by what your doing. I hurt my mom by not telling her and even though I have been clean for years, she blames herself and worries that I will do it again. You can get through it. Trust me. Good Luck
Feb 10, 2010
 It will be okay.
by: Anonymous

It's always hard to know if your just sad, or if you really do have a disorder like Depression. I know it might be hard for you to tell your mom, but if she could get you some help.. everything would be so easier. I understand what your going through, or at least Im trying. I have had a similar problem and cutting seemed to make everything better. trust me, your mother loves you and even though she might be mad once you tell her, everything will be okay with the proper help.
Jan 06, 2010
 Tell someone
by: Anonymous

If you can't tell your mom, tell someone else, and aunt, teacher, doctor, because you need to get help so you can change how you deal with things that upset you.

Good Luck
Dec 18, 2009
 Don't you really know why do you cut yourself?
by: Laslo

How to tell your parents is not a good a question. I think you mean: How to tell them causing the least trouble.
But the trouble can be found elsewhere. If your parents knew your cutting, nothing would change.
My question is: Why do you cut yourself? I cannot accept a simple lie -- I don't know.
Try to tell me the truth or part of the truth, and we will explore the real reason...

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