Painful Remorse

by Ariel
(Jacksonville, Florida)

I feel like I'm trapped in a dark room, alone and scared.
I scream but it's as if nobody hears me.
I cry for help, but get told to stop begging for attention.
It's as if nobody cares or has the time.
I feel a pain constantly and I feel as if anyone can break me with a word.
I've lost all motivation to do anything, and all I wanna do is sleep forever.
I always feel sad or hurt, and I feel like I can be killed by a single word from somebody.
I've been a cutter for two years now, and my cutting has only gotten more frequent.
I'm usually scared at everything, and I wince at the thought of being alone.

My friends tell me I'm depressed and need to see a doctor, but my mom doesn't notice this.
I've been really scared and hurt for years, and it's only gotten worse.

I've made many attempts to suicide, but I always start to cry before I get to serious.
I've abused both drugs and alcohol in the past, and I've been tempted to do so again, no matter whet I'm told.

I just want it to go away, either through medications or by dying.