My life has started the cutting...

by Ash
(Upland, CA)

My cutting has started because my life has been a complete hell! My mom is the one who started it, because when i was little she would abuse me and made me her own baby prostitute out of me, and she would always make go out and get her drugs with the money i got...ad then when i was 8 years old my dad got custody of me and he suffers from depression so i ant tell him how i feel or anything because he always blows up over any little thing i say..so i just don't talk to him anymore..

I'm in 9th grade ow and i have been cutting since i was in 7th...but the cutting has gotten so much more worse!! well this year i started high school and i have met so many people i can relate to..and they are so much fun because we party, drink and get in trouble together and it is fun! but the stresses of school and home have gotten me to this awful and horrible depression! and secretly i hate living like this, i want to be happy in the good way and not in the bad..

I have also found out that my friends are taking drugs so i got into that as well,,,it isn't bad but i do get extra cash... and my friends also cut themselves and that makes me cut even more!! and the i have also found out that I'm bipolar and i have to pills for it!! so now my friends want me to hook them up but i just cant to that!! i just wish someone will save me from this horrible life and love me and take care of me!! I hate living like this and my scars from cutting have taken up my whole left arm and both my upper thighs….My life has always been a living hell and I think it will be that way for awhile..but the weird thing is that I like it when I'm sad I like when people notice my scars..I just like to feel pain...but secretly I hate it!!