My last thoughts

by Destinychild 1958
(kailua-kona, hawaii)

I have asked over and over so many time I wondered why I lay here alone, no one calls, comes over or even acknowledges that I exist in the world. I thought about dying so many times, it was just a thought, tonight it no longer a thought. I feel as if I can't stay in this world another day. I not only feel no one cares, no one does care.

I have people in my life who only know that I exist, no birthday cards, I laid in my bed alone all day hoping just one person would remember my birthday, no one did, I did the same on Christmas Day. Yes, I exist but no one knows I'm here, I sit alone in my isolation hoping that one day I will matter, that day never came.I am going to leave this world today, please do not bother to waste your time saying you love me, you care, when it really mattered no one was there. I feel as if I live on a deserted island, I am the only one there. This has been life, this is me.

I wrote this for all those who know me, do not send no flowers or even say you care, no church service is needed because no one would show up anyway. I leave this world alone and forgotten. I sat here may nights wishing someone would call, no one does, no needs to call anymore because I have left this world the same way I lived in it (alone) I do feel any wrong in my decision, I have no reason to stay another night alone.

There is no question "why" I think it's pretty clear that my life meant nothing to no one, it's no joy to lay here alone,stand in my shoes, it's not a pretty sight. Good bye to those who knew of me, no one took the time to know me. No one can reach me anymore.