Lying, Crying and Drugs - Help Me!

by Tamara A
(Washignton)

Hello I'm tamara I'm 13 years old and in 7th grade. I have 2 true friends 1 with depression also.
I was adopted at 10 months old. I care a lot about the way I look. My life was perfect I had a lot of friends my parents cared about me and bought me anything I wanted BUT I skipped 3rd period every day and smoke marijuana in the bathroom when I got some (from one of my friends).
But one day I got cough skipping and they found the pipe on my friends. We all got searched and found the texts telling me to skip on my cell phone . I lied to my mom saying I didn't smoke but I still had to switch schools and was banned from talking to those friends.

This is when my depression started. I cried when my mom told me I had to switch and every thing went trough and I started Monday I thought it was normal to cry and it was when I moved to my new school and hung out with 2 people that listened to screamo. I listen to screamo and hiphop. I cried every night and the two girls turned on me now I hang out with a girl the dresses just me and acts like me I'm happy with my so called friends now at my new school but the littlest things set me off now if a person replies ok, so, gosh etc. Ill start crying some times I cry for no reason if my parents yell at me i lock my self into the bathroom and cry I find my self in the bathroom crying a lot now I carry around my domo stuffed animal and wear a hat where ever I go in my house now I want to take my domo to school but I don't wanna get teased because I'm white and go to a school in the ghetto I fit in most of the time because my friends say I'm black on the inside.

My real mom is bipolar so I told my adopted mom I think I'm bipolar she told me I need to stop acting like I have something that I don't. I don't know how to tell her I KNOW I have depression and need professional help. I used to have anger issues and got in fights a lot but now I just cry. I stopped playing volley ball and I stopped boxing with my dad at home. But I still care a lot about how I look I'm starting to wear darker clothes so I don't attract attention to my self because when I Started at my new school I was called spoiled because I wear south-pole jackets chains skinny jeans and very pricey necklaces etc. I still am called spoiled I don't know what to do! I help people with there problems but no one helps me! Should I change the way I dress so?

I don't get called spoiled? How do I stop crying? How do I tell my mom I need to find a counselor? How do I know if I'm not bipolar since my mom has it? How do I fit in? I need someone to talk to. HELP ME!