Losing my battle

by Antonia
(Longisland)

I am 48 year old female with a very painful disease. Iv'e had over 75 operations almost dying 5 to 8 times in the past 5 years.

I have a 17 year old daughter how I live for. If I did'nt have her I would be dead right now. Lately Ive been thinking she graduates highschool this june when she goes off to college Im just gonna give up and die.

I know that Im losing my battle with depression. I can feel myself fading away. I am sinking and falling down. I feel that people are prepared for me to go.To be goneI just want to disappear and be gone. I am from a family of 10 and I know I wont be missed Ive havent seen anyone in my family for over 3 years what do you think is gonna change.

I will no longer be lost. I will find my way. I just want it all to end. I want it all to be over..I I will be doing the onlything I have ever done for myself. I want it all to be over......