It doesn't make sense

I've been depressed the past 4 years at least

I've tired distracting myself, I've tried cutting I even jumper in front of a car and I doesn't make sense. I know why I'm depressed it stems from a series of unfortunate but ever increasing steps, from when my parents tired killing me when I was young, to be bullied in school and losing girl friends. I've even had mates die from drug abuse, friends cutting themselves for no reasons and me have to talk them straight.

Ever since I was 10 I decided there was no point to life, no logical explanation and stand by it today. When I was 13 I mentally divorced myself from my parents because they weren't going to help me, I had to deal with this and ended up trying to kill myself. I've looked for help, went to my GP and now I've spent the last year in therapy and I still want to die.

I haven't even left my secondary school and I think about hanging myself, with nowhere to let my emotions out but hear. But it makes no sense, why won't they help me. Talking is nothing but a distraction for an hour once a fortnight and my psychiatrist won't make a date for me to talk to her what do I have to do? Why doesn't it work? The health systems supposed to help not confuse right?

The reason why I say at least is because I've felt like crap, alone, and wrong for over 6 years, but I can take feeling bad, hell I was bullied by over 200 people for a whole year before I broke down crying so feeling bad is water of a ducks back. But now, I'm seeking help and wound up with nothing.