Isn't Worth Living

by Someone

I'm only 13 but I feel like life isn't worth living.
I don't want to tell my parents because half the time they are the problem. I don't want to tell my friends either because I have no clue how they'll react. The only console I really have is my one friend who I almost never get to see. And our friendship is sometimes on and off. My other friends recently though have been noticing changes. They say I'm really irritable and I'm tired all the time.
I have a reason for being tired. On average, I get maybe 6 hours of sleep only. I try to shrug everything off. My solution is to hide it all. If you ask people at my school many of my friends think I'm extremely hyper and happy all the time. One even voted me for most optimistic. It's a cruel world though and I don't think any of them understand exactly what I'm going through.
I'm scared to tell anyone and I don't think it's worth it. It started sometime last year I think. That's when I started to first feel really sad at times. It was weird. I didn't think it was anything serious. It would go on and off. It still does. When I'm depressed it usually doesn't carry on to the next day. The only problem is that I am constantly depressed. Every other day is normal for me. Sometimes more or less. My life would have been over by now had it not been for a few reasons. One of which is that I don't want to hurt my friends by leaving.

Comments for
Isn't Worth Living

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Jul 29, 2011
 Understood NEW
by: Logan Barber

I was in your position some time ago.

I am 14 years old now, going into high school. When I was 13, right into 7th grade, I honestly don't know what happened. I just became a lunatic with all these depressive symptoms. It is difficult to describe, as I think my mind has now put a block up to both the realities and the dark imaginations of the situation (I can't really sort through which is which, unfortunately). It sort of got worse in 8th grade, even though I subsequently became a very well liked person. My friends (mostly the ladies I suppose) thought I was rather eccentric and lovable-- much like how you describe the views of Your friends. But, also like you, there were feelings, thoughts-- a great internal conflict, as it were.
Enough of me. I understand the basis of what you are going through, even though everyone feels and copes differently. It is difficult to place your trust in people because of what they might think. For this, I think you should seek out help from your friends, but only the closer friends. This obviously is up to you.
What I mainly suggest though, is that you write in a journal. Not that diary nonsense about the course of your day--that tends to be tedious work. Rather, write your thoughts, feelings-- whatever comes to your mind. It doesn't even have to appear to do with anything pertaining to your crisis-- YOU are the master of what you write. Write about anything. Ask yourself, if you so choose, about things pertaining to life, philosophical questions ("What is my purpose here?"). It is all up to you, my friend.
I hope this helps you.
Jun 05, 2011
 Suicide Doesn't Work NEW
by: Anonymous

I understand. The only reason I'm not dead is because I can't find a way to kill myself that actually has a good chance of working in this day and age of modern medicine, and I also can't find one that wouldn't hurt.
If it hurts I might not be able to do it, or be tempted to seek help. Even if I can carry through with it, if I end up failing and being "helped" I'll be put in a mental institution or jail because attempting to kill yourself is illegal in this fucked up country.
Jun 01, 2011
 im 16 NEW
by:

everything in this explains how ive felt for years... ive been depressed since 7 grade... then u ask... how old are you? im a junior now.. thats too long to feel like this.. it gets better and worse as time goes on.. you just need to learn how to cope.. alot of ppl told me to read but the things i read are like my life and it makes me more depredded... so i learned tot play solitair.. im alone and it helps... idk... try it... life will get better for all of us
Dec 02, 2010
 Praise NEW
by: Mic

I have suffered feeling the way you feel but no w I am 52 yrs. old. I remember hating everything and everyone that hurt me. I remember running away to hide in a confessional box cuz my mom was cruel. I thank God that I had and have faith. Pray with all your might to make things happen for yourself. Your prayers will be heard.
When you look up at the sky and see a rainbow, think of the beauty that surrounds you. When you see and older couple holding hands and showing love, appreciate how wonderful those two human beings feel. When you see a flock of seaguls over head, remember to be grateful you can see them so clearly. I remember wanting to end it all, and, for what? People around us will miss us for a short while and they move on. Life is beautiful. When your down remember I'm hear to listen and pray that the Lord guide you. Stay strong and keep your spirits high.
Nov 23, 2010
 WE KNOW NEW
by: Kara

We know we are Changing but if this is what we get for going through "Changes" Then what the hell?? Its WAYYY more than that. Some of us are who we are and usally when your 11,12,13 whenwe are depressed we are more mature. What Im saying is we need help abd being told we are changing is not help.....:(
Mar 20, 2010
 Im'm 13 too. NEW
by: YourOtherHalf

Everything you just said explains everything I feel. I really mean every sentence in there is exaclty the same as me. It's weird.. I am just glad somebody knows how I feel.
Jan 11, 2010
 You are going thru a lot of changes NEW
by: Anonymous

Right now your body is going thru a lot of changes.
Those changes are both physical and chemical and mental.
That is causing many of your symptoms.
It's a rough thing for lots of people to transistion from being a child to being an adult.
You are at the cusp of this huge change in your life.
It's not unusual to feel as you do, believe me you are not alone feeling this way.

It was such a tumultous time for me that I remember it happening.... 47 years ago... when I was your age.

BTW, you'll go thru another profound change in about another 40 years. It'll be similar to this one accompanied by 'hot flashes' and stuff like that.

Get your self a pet, a dog. If you laready have one try spending some 'quality' time with your dog.
Dogs are GREAT thereapy. I know mine are 'therepy' dogs, LOL.

You're going to be just fine, sweety, it's all going to work out ok you're just going thru this rough stretch of lifes road. Everybody has to bounce thru it, you'll be ok.
Try to get interested in something, anything.
Reading, anything. It will help to have some interest.
A whole, entire, wonderful, life is just ahead for you.
Nov 09, 2009
 What is worth? NEW
by: Laslo

First of all, congratulation to your lines. Mark A for the composition and phrasing. It was worth to write it.
I was thinking about your thoughts. Could you tell me something -- anything, that is worth to do it. If life is not worth living then what else is worth to do? Life is the most challenging what you can find. Put up a brave fight!

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