i dont know what to do..

by Anonymous

i dont know were to go for help.. im 15.
im not sure if this is really serious or what?
i never seem to be happy no matter what i do..
i think suicidal thoughts regularly and feel withdrawn to my friends alot and feel like im losing everyone, i always feel down at night and just cry. i hate everything about myself and i'm always here for my friends but i dont know who to go to? im never happy, i basically want to die.. i always think what things will be like if i did die? and if anyone would care. i doubt they would. i just need help, but i told my mum about it abit ago and she basically laughed in my face and told me to grow up, which knocks my confidence to tell anyone else.
i dont know what to do? who do i go to for help..
i waited to see if it would pass but its been nearly a year.
i've self harmed too.. and im scared that soon i'll go too far, i also overdose..
i really need help.. i cant do this anymore.
my grades are dropping at school, everyone gives me rubbish i get called an attention seeker my mum and dad just shout at me for being awful and having my music on too loud and not talking to them, what do i do? :(
i know its got worse since i was heartbroken but i'm still not happy.. its been too long.