How i tried

by tamsin beattie
(clacton on sea)

I dont understand it and never will.

I dont understand it and never will.

I have often been bullied. I don't understand it and never will. I don't think anyone will ever understand me or my feelings. All they do is shout at me and punish me for things I didn't do. My whole secondary school life up to now (year 9) has been filled with bully worries and thoughts of suicide.

I have tried strangling myself with a rope I found in my bedroom. I have tried eating bleach. I thought about strangling myself to often. I have tried to starve myself slowly to death. I haven't got enough willpower. I thought about taking an overdose, but I then I thought my mum couldn't live without me. I have cut myself several times and my mum found me.

I'm stuck in a repeat of thoughts and life. Its just too hard to go on. I loved a lot of things but they have slowly disappeared from my life, now my mums ill and I'm struggling to stay afloat.

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How i tried

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My post NEW
by: Tamsin Beattie

Thanks for all your comments. Im more depressed than before because next year i choose my A-Levels. I choose them and showed my mum and stepdad. My stepdad just scoffed and said i would never achieve them.
Just Don't Look Back NEW
by: Emma

Firstly I'd like to tell you, spit on those bullies. Not literally though. They don't know what your going threw or how you feel. I live in a bully-free zone (literally), no one ever gets hurt by another. I cant imagine how you feel, and it must hurt to want to harm yourself. I personally, cant give you a lot of adive, for my depresstion is based more on words, and a mental turmoil. I cant really tell you I understand. Because I don't. But I know for a fact that if you take your life, everyone will hurt. Not. Just. You. You see, I don't tend to think "It's all about my feelings" like some depressed people. I try to imagine how others feel. Like I look at my friend and think "I wonder whats he/she is going threw. I wonder how they feel". It make me personally happy knowing that others might feel the same. I know others yell at you but damn them! They just yell or shout at you either because they feel bad for themselves or they follow the ones who feel bad for themselves. I can tell that your a good person and you have a chance in this world. You need to GO for it. Don't take your life because others are heartless enough to do that to you. Live your life because I swear to whatever God you pray to, it'll be over soon. Why stop in the beginning of a rollercoaster just to jump off? Ride that rollercoaster! Ride it till the end, because after the rollercoaster is over, don't you just feel great? So don't care or think back at what others do or say. Just stand your ground, don't give up and never look back!
don't give up NEW
by: Umarah

never give up hope, the good things will come back. just be patient, i know its hard. it's hard for me too. im so damn impatient but i know eventually the good things will come back. have faith :) x

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