Depression or Just Life?

by MJ
(Canada)

I don't even know if I am depressed, or if this is just the way life is and it's time to suck it up, princess.
All the quizzes say I am not, or that maybe it's mild, but they rely on how you are on the outside. My insides say there is something wrong with me.
I go to work, I function just fine. I have pride in the job I do and support my co-workers. I am pleasant to work with and clients like me. I can go out with friends. I can have a good time. So obviously I am fine.
But I hate myself. I am a disgusting, useless, worthless, vile creature not worth the air I breathe. I have friends but I am sad that such wonderful people have had their lives contaminated by me. I wish that I had the courage to end things but I am not that strong. I can't even do the favour of getting rid of myself.
That can't be right. Or is that normal? I have always felt like this, as early as I can remember. It is just my normal state of being. Surely everyone doesn't feel like this. It is terrible.
But happy, smiling people just aren't depressed, so I know that I am not depressed. Am I just a whiny drama queen? What is wrong with me???

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Depression or Just Life?

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Me too
by: Anonymous

I just found this. I feel this way all the time. I'm just glad I found someone who feels this way as well.
Depression or Just Life
by: Anonymous

Oh sweet girl,
Stop hating yourself. Something happened along the way in your childhood that made you think these things.

If you really examine people, you will find that almost 60% of them have the same feelings of inadequacy as you do. So just move ahead and take a burden off of your self by knowing that you are not alone in this equation, please girl, I wish I were there to give you a hug.
Love Julie
Being a woman
by: Anonymous

Hello,
I'm a 65 year old woman and I know exactly how you feel. I too grew up feeling that way and still, to some degree, feel that way. Instead of not deserving the air I breath, I now think if I keeled over stricken with some age-related malady, I wouldn't be worth resuscitation. LOL

I am like you, I have a great deal of self-confidence that I worked hard to give myself and feel comfortable fitting in and being independent. But, I also have a self-esteem self rating of zero. They are separate. Self esteem just wasn't there from a very young age and I have to still occasionally talk myself into believing that I'm worth anything. Is it just being a woman? Not having good healthy male feedback at an early age? I don't know. You are not weird, not alone. I believe there are millions and millions of women that feel this way.

Could be worse - we live in a modern age - you have alot more control over your life than women have ever had in the past. Thank god for that. Be kind to yourself, it will get better with age. Unfortunately, can't go back in time and ask for a good ol' plate of self esteem. Time and wisdom will build your soul. Good luck to you.

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