Depression Jokes

Do you think that depression and fun are antagonistic?

Fighting depression, coping with depression is a hard work.

Depression is not a joke, not at all. But you might relax. Take it now easy or at least easier...

Humor is a healthy factor.

Look at the funniest collection of jokes about depression:

• Psychiatrist to his nurse:
  Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying it's a madhouse.

• Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
  If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
  If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
  If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
  If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
  If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
  If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
  If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

• Why do you prefer Altzheimer disease to Parkinson disease?
  Because it's better to forget to pay the beer than to spill it.

• How can you distinguish the staff from the patients in the asylum?
  The staff has the door key.

• At a party:
  'Are you a psychologist?'
  'Why do you ask it?'
  'Oh yes, you are a psychologist.'

• I'm absolutely healthy... The voices in my head agreed as well.

• Client: "Everybody ignores me. "
  Doctor: "Next, please."

• I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline. They've got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

• I'm not satisfied with the result of the therapy... I used to be Napoleon, but today I'm simply John Smith.

• Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world, where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says the treatment is simple. The great clown Terrifini is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up. Man bursts into tears: "But doctor . . . I am Terrifini.

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