Depression Help Blog 2008

What To Do...?/Her Life a.k.a.(My Life)

Posted by Rika Karine on Dec 31, 2008

First it was little, a couple swear words here and there, and one or two lies, then it got bigger, more lies and calls from school, forgive and forget, it seemed to be over, but it wasnt, everything escalated, swearing, lying and the fights started, then came the anger, the pain amd hurt, the sadness and then the depression, the fights grew worse and then the cutting started, causing herself physical, mental and emotiel pain, when she told her friends or talked to anyone about it, she laughed it off an dsaid "its not that bad, its not like im going to commit suicide, its not going to kill me!" ironically, it did, she was so blind, she didnt see how it was hurting the people around her, it was later they found out, about the blankness and emptiness, the loneliness in her soul, the darkness in her heart, she felt like no one cared, no one noticed, no one listened, not her friends and not her family, she thought she was ugly, and she had struggled, after they wondered, how didn't anyone see this coming, didn't anyone know the truth, sure, she covered it up with lies and false hapiness, but didn't anyone see through the disguise. through to the pain in her heart, through to the fear in her soul, how could anyone let this happen, why didnt anyone stop it, how did they all just let her die? How?

That is something I wrote called "Her Life". It's based on my feelings and thoughts, I have found someone to talk to, a couple of friends but I just needed to get this out and I like to write so this is what I wrote. Here are some song lyrics I wrote...

I feel like no one can hear my scream, I feel like no one can see me cry, I feel like anyone can make me bleed, I feel like anyone can make me die, I feel like there's nothing left in me to love anyone, I feel like this pain will be the end of me...

Touch me and I bleed, prick me and I die, your loving heart will be the and of me, until the day I die...

Love is a magic no one can understand, it can be hateful, it can burn, it can hurt, but if you find true love, it can heal your soul...

Happiness is an unknown placewhere, the sunrise is a rainbow and the moonlight makes the snow sparkle, no sadness and pain, yes, happiness is an unknown place to me...

You were the only reason I was holding on, and now that your gone, there's no reason for me to stay, except I made a promise...

We have a long talk, and everything seems okay, but I know it won't be on Monday, we won't talk, nod or smile, and all of it makes it worth my while to wish it was Sunday...

What is the meaning of life? Why can't we end it witout pain? i wish I knew so I could end this life...

I'm sinking deeper and deeper into obliviation, I'm sinking deeper into this darkness, how will I get out, will anyone save me...

The tears are pouring down my cheeks, here comes the questions, here comes the torture, here comes the pain, I'm scared and confused, I'm scared for my life...

Here's my story:

It started five years ago when I was nine, I hated school with a passion and I became suicidal. I felt like no one was there, no one would listen.

Eventually it stopped, but it was on and off for the next five years but this year it started getting worse and I just didn't know what to do, I've started cutting myself all over andd now I just ask myself: What To Do?

I'm 16 and I have bad depression

Posted by Tiffany Wagner on Sep 23, 2008

I was beat and raped when i was 4 years old. My mom died when i was 5 years old and i've suffered depression since then. I am now 16 years old and i go to a counselor for help. I used to cut myself and commit suicide. I am on anti-depressants now and i feel like a whole new person now. I still remember my childhood and what happened but im working through my problems one step at a time.

Madhouse

Posted by Laslo on Jul 24, 2008

Psychiatrist to his nurse:
Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying it's a madhouse.

What to do next?

Posted by Anna on Jun 6, 2008

About a month ago, my partner and I were to start a new career together as Publicans, but while at training we had a really serious argument and I left. I did not see or speak to him for a month, and although I was sad I was beginning to make some sense of it all and get on with my life. About a week ago he rang me in tears and begged me to go back saying that the company would allow me to continue with my training, so I gave it a chance and went back.I am the one with the qualifications and have worked for other companies and could go straight in and do the job, it is my partner who needs the training,but it is me who is paying the price as I am the one not getting paid and working for nothing.I feel very down at the moment and used and really dont know what to do about things I wish I had had the strength to move on while I had the opportunity. What do you think I should do this feeling of utter lifelessness is making me so ill.

Doobug's Mom

Posted by Pam on Jun 2, 2008

I have always been depressed I think, cause I cant remember the last time I was truly happy, there have been moments and I treasure those, like the birth of my children a new job when I bought my home. Then my son was murdered and my world got turned upside down. My daughter has always been shy and skittish and was once diagnosed with ocd, but she had been doing fine, since the death of her brother almost two years ago on july 3rd, she has fallen into such a depression. I recently had to hospitalize her in a psyche ward, she is currently on lithium and risperdal shots every two weeks, she is not herself dressing inappropriately for the weather and just plain clownish. I am at my wits end. She has started swimming which is her passion almost everday and I wonder if she is going to fast, she does about 15-20 laps, this seems the only thing to help her sleep, but when she gets home she still seems distant and anxious. She is not the same person I often wonder will I get her back. She says to me sometimes I feel as if I am losing my mind. She has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizo affective disorder. In the meantime I am not being treated so I can be clear minded for her, I have always had a problem with meds, whatever side effect listed and some that or not I get, for example with buspar I got a ringing in my ear which turned into tinnitus that I have today, this is a rare side affect but I got it. I have just resigned myself to be depressed and unhappy, in fact I am familiar with the feeling, probably would not know what to do if I felt otherwise.

Adolescent Depression

Posted by Laslo on May 18, 2008

Adolescent depression: Every 12 adolescents experienced major depression in 2007. Girls are twice as likely as boys to suffer a major depressive episode. Read more...

Titleless, tiredness, lifeless

Posted by Sleepwalker on May 13, 2008

I'm a 32 year old male with little interest in life. Originally from Europe from a typical dysfunctional family that came to US when I was a child. Got stuck in the voids of immigration laws and untill this day, I'm illegal. Violence at home and unwantedness by strangers never helped my self-esteem. As a child I just wanted to disappear and never come back again. At age of 8 I was drafting plans for suicide that would require no need for burial. Away from friends and family, the hopes for finding them back home some day become slimmer and more burdensome as the guilt sets in with no mercy. Nearly everything I've ever done has been a disappointment to my father. Verbal stabs and physical contact have left me powerless only with wounds to receive friendly comforting words like makeup over a scar. My mother spoiled me with love as my father and I gradually worked on my self-hatred thinking. Well so what, people might say. Well I'm just unhappy with who and what I am. I should be happy, I tell myself. Managed to have a job, my own little house, car, food, some friends but life is nothing more than a waste of time. But there are people dieing of diseases and natural disasters, I remind myself. Still motivates me nothing. I try to remind myself of the 5 years I spent with a Church, where people were friends and family, where things seemed easier, where it was not where but with whom and what, with eternal goals. Although I was totally not happy, I now look back at myself as a fortress but that now, after focusing on one point of attack on the castle walls, the castle has been left demolished for unattending the winning sides when they needed attention the most. If I could just focus on what matters, what I like, goals, dreams etc. the castle would have a king and a queen that would reign honorably. Oh, I almost forgot I have no real dreams or goals. Or maybe I just don't have interest in anything. But what do I do about the million mile-per-hour life that doesn't let me catch up. Years are like minutes and days don't exist. At the same time I'm paralyzed by panic and disappointments of plans that don't work and time is running out. Nights give me no rest, days give me no one to share them with and my body is nothing more than a walking corpse. I don't want to give up, but when I try to face reality, it leaves me no desire to live. Why can't I make my life worth living. Why can't I enjoy a social event. If I could just ask a girl to dance or maybe learn to dance. If I could just enjoy a deep breath, smelling the flowers in an early morning sunrise. I could try using my gym membership to help my body and mind fight this mess. Maybe have a bit more trust with medicine would help. Maybe just a bit of Faith would do it. But no, I just let the maggots of thought eat away my mind. I see nothing that will change me for the better. I can only try leaving what I think might be some advice. If you have a passion, hold on to it for life. If you really love someone, don't ever stop loving them. At a time of desperation remember your passion and the most valuable thing - your love for others.

Your wonderful ability Nicole

Posted by Laslo on May 13, 2008

Hi Nicole, You are right. You see the antagonism of the situation very well. You feel yourself helpless but you've got the key. You CAN think about your situation and it means that you are not helpless. You can think! It is very important. You can think about what is good or bad, what might be useful and what is useless. You are able to evaluate the results of your activity. I'm sure that you have the most important ability.
Do not accept the current situation as a final one. Try different things and observe the results and evaluate them. You are so talented. Your son has lost something what you have. Don't give up to show him.

My son suffering from depression

Posted by Nicole Mack on May 9, 2008

My son is currently suffering w/clinical depression he is only 13 years old. He is in treatment but I am unsure if it is working.How do I respond to him.How do I tell him he still has to get out of bed,he still has responsibilties even though he feels horible. I don't want to ignore his feeling but I also don't want to give the excuse to just lay there and dwell.

At a party

Posted by Laslo on Apr 17, 2008

- Are you a psychologist?
- Why do you ask it?
- Oh yes, you are a psychologist.

Depressed women have more sex

Posted by Laslo on Mar 29, 2008

Depressed women have more sex than those who are happier, regardless of whether they are in a relationship or not, a study of Australians has found. A survey of Melbourne women presented at an international mental health conference has concluded that females who suffer from mild to moderate depression have a third more sexual activity than those who are not. They also had more sexually liberated attitudes, a bigger variety of sexual experiences and, if single, were more likely to partake in casual sex, Dr Sabura Allen, a clinical psychologist at Monash University, said.

It was more sex and more of everything from kissing to petting, foreplay and intercourse, said Dr Allen, who studied the recent sexual experiences of 107 depressed and non-depressed women who were in relationships.We knew this anecdotally from clinical samples but this is the first time it’s been shown in research. She said depressed women were likely seeking out sexual intimacy more often to help feel more secure.

Depression Joke

Posted by Laslo on Mar 19, 2008

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world, where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says the treatment is simple. The great clown Terrifini is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up. Man bursts into tears: But doctor . . . I am Terrifini.

Pink Salmon

Posted by Kathyon Mar 18, 2008

I have found that after eating pink salmon, followed by green veggies and then 1/2 cup of blueberries, I get extremely happy, almost giddy.
The first time it happened, I didn't realize that it was from what I ate and forgot about it. Then on another day, I ate the same thing and it happened again; and found that it repeatedly works for me. I don't know if it would work for everyone, but for me it is a depression cure!
I'm not a big fun of pink salmon, but I'll eat more often in the future.

Depression Joke

Posted by Laslo on Mar 18, 2008

I'm not satisfied with the result of the therapy... I used to be Napoleon, but today I'm simply John Smith.

Exercise or Antidepressants?

Posted by Mike on Mar 16, 2008

There are more benefits to exercising than just eating antidepressant pills in case of depression.
'Jim Blumenthal of Duke University went on to research on this beneficial aspect of exercising after noticing that people felt better when they exercised and thus decided to examine if exercise was able to reduce depressive symptoms in patients.
So, he observed non-depressed patients and discovered that regular exercise had a positive effect on depressive symptoms in these patients.
Thus he focused his research on patients with major depressive disorder and assigned the patients to one of three treatment groups: medication, exercise, or a combination of both.
After four months, the patients who were recruited to just exercise showed equal improvement as the other two groups.
It was found that over 60% of the exercising patients no longer classified as clinically depressed as compared to 69% of the patients who were given only medication and 65% of those assigned to both.
Also Blumenthal found that patients who exercised had half the risk of being depressed six months after the experiment as those who didnt.
Blumenthal said that he would not advise people with major depression to give up their medicine in favor of exercise, but he still believed that exercising might prove to be an alternative treatment for depression.
I still remain very optimistic about exercise being an alternative to treatment for depression, he said.'

I think it is a promising scientific research for all of us.

Depression is the leading cause of disability

Posted by Laslo on Mar 14, 2008

Depression is the leading cause of disability and the 4th leading contributor to the global burden of disease (DALY= Disability Adjusted Life Years. The sum of years of potential life lost due to premature mortality and the years of productive life lost due to disability.) in 2000. By the year 2020, depression is projected to reach 2nd place of the ranking of DALYs calcuated for all ages, both sexes. Today, depression is already the 2nd cause of DALYs in the age category 15-44 years for both sexes combined. (Source: WHO)