Dead, I'm really dead, no, worse than dead, I'm alive

by Anonymous

God! Yeah, "you're not supposed to swear under the gods name" Ha Ha Ha! Like there is a god! If there is, then why does my life * *?

I recently turned 13 and I am depressed! Sometimes, I am just overwhelmingly sad, sometimes overwhelmingly mad, or just plain old numb to the world. I have dreams of people trying to ill me. Half of my days I spend staring outside or at a specific point and standing, sitting, whatever very stiffly.

I think I'm depressed because none of my friends really seem to like me, "we love you!" yeah right... Other times I don't know why I am depressed, I just am.

I'm don't cut myself majorly, like on the wrists, but I cut myself. I really wish I wear dead, but I'm not. I won't commit suicide, for now, at least, because my family and "friends" would miss me. My family loves me, they have no clue I'm depressed. I'm scared to tell an adult or a "friend" because, now this may sound ridiculous, but trust me, sometimes you just have a feeling, and it's right, if I talk to someone it's gonna "send me off the deep end" and I will cut majorly and maybe try to commit suicide. And seriously, if I decide I'm gonna commit suicide, no ones gonna save me. There are plenty easy ways for me to kill myself, it'll be all too easy.

I now cry myself to sleep a lot, I have to rock back in forth sometimes to hold on, I have daydreams about killing myself, I don't want to go to school anymore, and I don't feel like eating anymore. Also, my depression makes me feel sick a lot, and I feel like I have to puke, all the time, or I get a big headache. That's only the start.

The Living Dead

Many say, sorry about what happened today,
But I say, yeah, that always happens,
Look at that beautiful sunshine, they say,
But I reply, it's only like every other day,
You and me? We agree, on everything.
You and me? We're the living dead, and always will be.

Sleep tight, your mother calls,
Goodnight, you reply, but then whisper, night, it's not good, nor ever will be.
The sun arises and you steadily walk to me and tell me your stories,
I turn around to face you and say, yeah, me too, me too,
You and me? We agree, on everything.
You and me? We're the living dead, and always will be.

Everyone says, oh, aren't they cute, they'll always be the best of friends, happy as can be,
But you and me? We know it's all a big ugly lie, they just don't realize it,
You and me? We agree, on everything.
You and me? We're the living dead, and always will be.
It's just us alone in the wild, the living dead. Forever...And always...

Please, someone reply as soon as possible. Tell me something quick! Even lie, just help me out here. I'm worse than dead, at least get me to the point of as good as dead.

I used to be the opposite, I mean complete opposite of what I am now, depression is killing me, and very slowly, one slit of the knife at a time, one drop of blood at a time, but one day it'll all be in a puddle on the floor, I'll be in the middle of the mess, stone cold, and dead.