Broken and i dont know why

by thomas
(british columbia)

i see a counselor once a week. i also see a doctor. but they don't work. i just feel broken, im a 16 year old guy who has a crush on his best guy friend and i cry myself to sleep every night. i have been bullied since i started school, at the end of grade 7 i moved to Canada, because that's where "nice" people live.

it was a stupid stereotype. the bullying got worst. then in grade 10 it stopped. i was so confused that i bullied myself, i called myself names, i laughed at myself then it got worse and i would hurt myself, and now im addicted to the pain. i cut myself every night. ive attempted suicide 3 times this summer. i have shin splint, and i force myself to run even though im in so much pain.

i cant stop. my friends are so supportive and i wish they wasn't, it would be so much easier, because now im just a broken body full of conflicting thoughts. i just dont want to be here anymore. im tired of always wanting to kill myself. i dont know how it can get any better.

Comments for
Broken and i dont know why

Click here to add your own comments

I'm with you NEW
by: Emma

I understand. I want to help you because your WORTH it. I understand the feeling of being bullied. Their not worth it if those people are mean and cruel enough to do that to you. You can't continue hurting yourself. You just have to keep going till you see that silver lineing.
I sound like some adult telling you just to keep going. I truthfully don't know yet if it'll get better. But it does, life just goes and eventually gets to the point of bliss.
There has to be a reason why you want to hurt yourself. Find that reason. But believe me, when you do, you'll realize how wrong you are!
I'm bulimic and cut myself all the time. Who am I to be telling you that everything will be ok? I guess if I cant save my own life, I can at least save someone else's. I understand your addiction to pain. I'm addicted to throwing up my food to become thin.
You just have to get a goal or dream and put your all into it. Once you do that, you'll get ideas and WANT to live to acheive that goal. And once that happens, you just dont want to hurt yourself anymore because you deicide 'Hey, I want to do this, and what I'm doing now is in the way!'.
My dreams involve being thin or else I cant achieve those dreams. I understand you.
If you ever want to talk, I'm here for you. E-mail me anytime at pinkapril12@hotmail.com
I'll be with you every step of the way.
hope NEW
by: truth

NO! you can stop but you have convinced your self tht ur addicted to pain. but your not and theres nothing wrong with likeing ur own type. its ur mind and body not every 1 elses. just keep ur humanity. pls stop. i dont know u but still. it will be ok.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How?
Simply click here to return to Teen Suicide

 

 

Do not forget to share this page with your friends...