am i out?

by alexis
(california)

i started in 7th grade. i wasnt sure why, but it helped me escape. cutting was my way of escaping from the life i no longger wanted to live. i continued on to 8th grade. but only when something would happend.

well i slipped into a deep depression and couldnt get myself to stop no matter how hard i tried, i could remember myself just thinking how much easier it would be if i just wasnt around anymore. cutting wasnt enough after a while and i found myself carving stuff into my arm and wrist. i felt so alone.

till i found out my best friend had done it. she told me her story and i told her mine. it made me sad hearing hers that i didnt want to imagine how she felt after tellng her mine, due to the fact that i had done way more then her. well i realized that it was bad and i needed to stop, so i did.

but sometimes i find myself with a razor or knife in my hand just wondering... im free of this yet?